Don't bleed, baby

Dear Friends,
Happy Thursday, I hope it's been a good one. Having a bad few days right now. I'm getting that trapped feeling again. Do any of you get it? Like you're falling and falling and you can't stop? Yeah so that's me right now. Hopefully it won't get too bad. With that and something on facebook, I've been thinking a lot about self-harming. Not doing it, don't worry. I just wonder how people who have never felt like they've ever wanted to think.

I think a lot of people are prejudiced against it. I mean, yes it's terrible and I wish with all my heart that no one ever did it or felt like doing it. I just think a lot of people misunderstand it. It's not a life style choice you make for yourself, it just happens. Some people hurt themselves because it distracts them from the pain inside their hearts. Others because they feel as though they deserve it, the feel so angry at themselves. I hope no one ever feels this way.

Some times things really stick with you. My english teacher told our class when I was about 13 that suicide is just selfish. I can't rememeber much about what he said after that becuase I was so angry. Okay, I'll admit  suicide is mostly selfish. You only think of your pain and who would miss you. But isn't the fact that everyone else is being selfish thats the problem? You only kill yourself when others lead you to believe that no one wants or needs you around. I mean you'd have to feel as though no one wanted you, and if you feel that way doesn't that make others selfish for not reaching out to you? I mean when someone commits suicide surely someone noticed they were depressed? I don't know. Maybe it just depends on the person. I believe sometimes nothing can be done to prevent suicide.

Dear God this is all rather sad sounding isn't it? I'm not really sure how to make this a happy post....but not all posts have to be happy. Just don't give up guys, your happy ending is waiting for you.

Love, Rose.

P.s.
Quote- “Did you really want to die?"
"No one commits suicide because they want to die."
"Then why do they do it?"
"Because they want to stop the pain.” -  Tiffanie DeBartolo
Song: Skip to the good part- He is We

2012-Best bit

Dear Friends,
How are you guys? I'm wishing I had some followers but I don't mind if people are still reading this. Haven't a clue what I'm going to say today. Maybe I should try to specialise my blog? May bring in some followers, cause sometimes I feel as though I am talking to myself.  

I'm having a really bad time right now so I am determined to make this a happy post. So I'll tell you about my happiest moment of 2012. Maybe you can tell me yours? I'd love to hear them.

Okay so you know how you have an idol who is absolutely amazing and you adore them? And how it doesn't matter if other people don't agree that s/he is the ,most epic person ever? Yep. And every time you think about them you get a bubbly feeling that consists of wistfulness, love and nostalgia? Well I got to meet my idol! How amazing is that? Not many people get the chance. But remember you're greatest role model doesn't have to be famous, like mine. They can be ordinary people who achieve the extraordinary.     

Okay so not many of you guys will recognise my idol. But here's a picture anyway. By the way, am I the only one who finds it really annoying trying to format pictures on Blogger? I don't know. Derek Landy everybody>>>>>>>>

So Derek Landy is the author of the Skulduggery Pleasant series  . He also wrote  screenplays for Boy Eats Girl and Dead Bodies, the premiere of which he took his grandmother to see.  He is a really funny guy and can put comedy into his work that I could never do. He is just epic. It's hard to explain unless you meet him.

Derek wrote/is writing  my favourite books of all time so naturally I would want to meet him. Those of you who have met your idol will know that they either disappoint or exceed expectations. Naturally, Derek exceeded them. I'm so glad I got to meet him because he let a little bit of sunshine into my life. It's a memory I'll always cherish and it'll help me through all the dark times I may encounter when my own personal Darquesse takes over. If you ever read this thank you Derek. You made my 2012 and probably a few years after that.

Here's to amazing people! Next time I'll tell you about the most amazing couple ever.
Love, Rose
Song- Dead man walking- The Script
Quote- Interviewer- “Kindness suits you."

Derek Landy-  "Really? I think I'm quite allergic to it.”

Love life

Dear Friends,
I hope everyone is well and if you aren't I'll send a prayer to whoever is watching. I find it really weird that it's 2013, am I the only one? A part of me thought this year would never come and now everything is back to normal. Weird. But life is so hectic at the moment I don't notice. Stuck in exams at the moment but it's not just them. My friend is having a little boy dilemma and I can understand why she is upset but I don't understand all of it.

Okay so lets call her Jill and he can be Jack, okay? So Jill grew up with Jack and they were friends. Jill  had a crush on Jack but then they went separate ways at around the age of 11. Jill nearly forgot Jack but then they were reunited by a twist of fate. They became good friends again and Jill was reminded of why she loved him in the first place. Jack was unsure of what he felt for Jill as they were at the age where everyone was a possible girl/boyfriend if you liked them. It took a while to figure out but Jack realised he loved Jill like a sister. But Jill was still in love with Jack and was sure he felt the same way. When she asked him he told her the truth. Naturally Jill felt rejected and a little sad. Jack still wanted to be dear friends with Jill, so they were. Although Jill doesn't care for Jacks friendship, she only wants more. Now Jill has it all, a loving family, loads of friends who love her dearly and a good quality of life. But she doesn't care. She can't be thankful to just have Jack in her life. She has to complain about wanting more. Well I think that if she really cared about him she wouldn't want him to do anything he didn't want to. I just don't know. Anyway that's the end of my little rant you'll be glad to hear.

My advice guys is to appreciate what you have. You could lose it if you aren't careful. Things can always be a million times worse. If you feel like you have nothing in the world then I'll pray that some day you do. Life is too short to spend wishing to have one you think is better. You have one life, so live it to the max.

Love, Rose

P.s.

Song: On the Brightside- Nevershoutnever

Quote: “Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough”- Oprah Winfrey

Exams...damn.

Dear Friends,

I hope everyone is well. Anyone got exams, I do. Definately adds to the January blues. I always find it hard to focus on revision even for important exams. I always stress out big time too. I find it really hard to sleep and always end up listening to an audiobook of Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. It'll be awesome if we do Pride and Prejudice at A'level. But what do you guys do to destress? Read? Listen to music? Watch T.V.? Well my favourite thing to do during the exams to keep my head from flying off is to fangirl over things! Theres so much to obsess over. So why dont I help you destress with some fangirling? You might find something new and amazing.

So books. I think Hush, Hush by Becca Fitzpatrick is an amazing series and reading about sex-God Patch comepletely distracts you from real life. Don't worry it's not even close to being as bad as Fifty Shades. With Fallen angels, their evil offspring- sorry Scott- mostly evil offspring and love mixed up in the middle of a war? How can you resist. Becca Fitzpatrick is amazing, the way she writes is simply magnetic. Even if you didnt like the books (which is impossible) you will want to know what happend next. At first somethings are really surprising then you realise they had to happen because thats exactly what you want to happen. Also the guy who models as Patch is really fit. Phwoar.

Okay well thats books covered. Mmmm Patch, yummy. Anyway so what about music? Well I'm really loving the album Some Nights by Fun. It helps me destress a lot, I'd give it a listen of i were you.

Well I'd better go revise. More fangirling next time! 

Love, Rose.  

Artistic Skills

Dear Friends,

Congratulations on surviving this long, my friends. Anyone realise how awesome this year has been? For me it's been awesome and terrible all at the same time. Its changed me, you know? Anyway so this blog is suppose to be a bit like a diary? And it really is as hardly anyone reads it but I still keep writing. So how about I spill my biggest secrets? Maybe not today as I am going to let people who know me see this so maybe that'd be a bad idea. Emoticons has ruined me, all I want to do is write smiley faces.

 

My friend to drew a picture for me. He is really good at art and drew this....

Pretty good, huh? I'm in converse and he's in Vans. Also he drew my legs far too skinny but I like it. It's the first thing anyone has ever drawn me in and I adore it. I could never draw like that.

 I think its really good (clearly) but the problem was he wanted to keep it real bad so I let him. Even though I really want it.

So I wanted him to draw me a picture.One I could keep and be all like ",y friend drew that! MY FRIEND!" I'd be all filled with pride. So you hope its all real nice and complementary?  Yeah its a really good drawing though I was hoping it wasn't drawn with me in mind. But its weird I still love it? I gave him a "Wreck this journal" for Christmas so I guess this was one of the pages. Original and different. I like it. But that's mainly because he drew it. So here it is.  

Its good, yes? Now you see what I mean. I hope he doesn't want me dead because I'd probably let him kill me. Anywhoo its fun to see how his brain works. Its like most of us run north but he runs east. If you know what I mean? I'm not even sure I do.

My next post is going to be all about me fangirling over something. Possibly Doctor Who or Skulduggery or anything.

Love from Rose,
P.S.
Song: Little Talks- Of Monters and Men
Quote:"If you hear a voice within you say 'you cannot paint,' then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced." Vincent Van Gogh

P.P.S. Dear Jamie, If you wonder where that Christmas present I debated giving you went, it may never see the light of day.

Rain! 3/12/12

Dear Friends,
Todays blog is about rain. I love rain. Even when I say I don't I do. Wanna know why? In the words of Sarah Kay-"The rain will wash away anything if you let it." 

Ain't she cute?

I found myself in the rain today calling myself an idiot. Because I truly am. A lot of us are but its not our fault. We just can't help it. Anywhoo why was I calling myself an idiot?

You know when you daydream about coming in contact with your crush in various situations? Like passing each other in the street or reaching for the same can of baked beans and you touch hands? Well it was like that. I was daydreaming about this guy I like when he walks by me. Of course my heart practically stopped. Want to know the worst part? I really shouldn't like this guy.  He has few good qualities. He has been out with like a billion girls, he's not even really fit. He doesnt make me laugh and he is so boring its unreal. I just cant figure out why I like him anyway. I will have to ponder on that.

Anyway the rain part. After walking past him I  was calling myself an idiot and the rain was falling on my face.  It calmed me. It made me see reason. There are things in life that can't be explained. Like why I like this guy and why rain makes me feel the way I do. I used to think it rained every time someone beloved died. Could it be true? It's raining somewhere all the time. All the time people loose the ones they love. Or maybe it rains to give the people of earth a well needed drink, to quench their thirst for something more. Or just to save us again and again.

I'm not sure why rain effects me so much. I guess it's just because its a miracle. So next time it rain I urge you not to moan about it but embrace it. Let yourself go and dance in the rain. Let your worries be washed away, even if it is only for a little while.

Love, Rose

P.S. Song: Fearless- Taylor Swift

Quote- "Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams." Ashley Smith

The first one (2/12/12)

Dear Friends,
My name is Rose and welcome to my wonderfully unexceptional blog. I have no idea what to write in my first blog. Maybe a little description of myself? Okay so I'm a girl whose name is not actually Rose but that's what I feel it should be you know? I don't know. I guess Rose is my alter-ego name. Rose is who I want to be because she is the best of me. I just think you should know that throughout everything I say I want to be the best I can be. Okay so Rose fact file is as follows:
Age:15
Gender:Girl
Sexuality: Straight
From: Northern Ireland

All that stuff doesn't say much about me so here's a list of my favourite things:
Book(s): Skulduggery Pleasant series by Derek Landy
Song: All About Us-Owl City ft. He Is We
Band: Nevershoutnever
Singer(girl): Taylor Swift
Singer(guy): Adam Young
Movie: Um I cannot choose but right now its The Hunger Games
Actor: Ian Somerhalder
Actress: Zooey Deschanel
Musical: The Phantom of the Opera 
Ceiling: In this restaurant where the ceiling is painted dark blue with fairy lights like stars stuck in
Smell: Christmas dinner
T.V. show: The Paradise
Shoes: Converse knee-highs which are glow in the dark (someday they will exist)
Person: Jamie
Place: Forbidden Planet in town or Hogwarts
Food: Cheetos
Animal: Horse
I think that's all the important things.....
Oh and for whoever reads this at the end of every post I'm going to put a quote and a song. I hope to keep that promise.
So I would say lets get to the interesting part but I'm not sure if it would interest anyone but there you go.
so what will I talk about today?
I'm not sure. Hmmm okay its my first post so maybe something happy? Yes inspirational, making you want to come back for more.

Okay this one is for all you who are going through school like me.
School is important guys, really important. And your whole future will rest upon it. You gotta work real hard. And sometimes life just seems like too much of hard work. But school can be fun. You need to hang out with people who make you laugh and who love you. So if you feel snowed under by work just go out there and have fun. Remember your future is yours alone. If you don't work for it now it'll be too late then. So you know just have fun guys, stop worrying and start living. I'm even confusing myself right now. Anyway work hard now and don't forget to have fun, and your future will be wonderful. Just don't give up on it yet ya hear? 
That's all for today folks Thank you and goodnight, 
Love from Rose
P.S. Song: On the brightside-Nevershoutnever
Quote: " I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear." -Nelson Mandela